In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize