I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize