I've blown a few things in my day
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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