Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
