you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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