What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
