Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I feel like a drive thru vagina
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
