i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
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