the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
