I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
The ass gains better be worth it
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