is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I intend to get homeless drunk
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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