You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
