How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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