i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
