Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
