i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
