dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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