Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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