cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
