I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize