Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
