i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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