we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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