hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
