Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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