someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
