I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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