dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
