i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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