Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
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