he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
