She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
