You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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