You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I believe in your delicious
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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