# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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