she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
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