i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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