wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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