so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
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