why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?