He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
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I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
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I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?