i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.