Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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