While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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