I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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