Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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