I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
