im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Randomize
