If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
