Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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