can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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