Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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