nut hugger
I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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