it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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