Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I want her autograph on my taint
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize
