i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
