Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I have fence marks all over my body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize