It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize