Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize