she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Randomize
