so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
