dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
