seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
