Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Randomize
