Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
i think i just lost a toe
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
