I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I had to cum in my sink.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
