Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
